she has fallen and now she is awake
You know what I’m sick of
May 16, 2010Posted by on
The idea that the judgement rained upon childfree women is not only the fault of mothers, but also has no ill effect on mothers themselves. Like it isn’t part of a wider social fuckup that not only assumes you want children (and that something is wrong if you don’t) but also that because you want children, there’s nothing at all you can complain about because “you chose this”. So there’s no recourse for fair or equitable treatment because you chose to have a baby. You chose that so you also chose the bad treatment. No backsies. If you didn’t want substandard care, social isolation, intellectual ostracism and society bent on telling you you’re wrong, you should be childfree. Then you can get judged for that too.
(Also, remember that there’s a chance that the mother you’re talking to was childfree at some point.)
Anything that assumes all women are the same is bad for women as a whole. Anything that makes women jump through hoops to prove that they’re worthy, that they’re okay, they’re not like those other women, isn’t okay. If your argument against women is based upon a pretty unlikely to the point of nearly mythical happenstance, you need to step back a little. If you’re judging someone based on one tiny interaction for one tiny fragment of time, you need to really examine what is happening.
And if you think for one moment heaping that judgement on a struggling parent is helping them, you have got to be fucking kidding me.